Fate is Against Me
I tried to break a rule. Really.
Chris has taken it into his wonderful, caring head that I have too much sugar and caffeine in my diet. Yes, I have admitted this in the past. It gets worse every year in May and June because those are the months where I get very little sleep and almost no playtime.
This year, when it was decided that some things had to change and improve, my consumption of Mountain Dew (along with getting a lot more sleep) was on the agenda.
Now, he wisely has not said that I can't drink Mountain Dew. Oh, no. Indeed, he's only said that if I drink a 20 oz. bottle of the stuff, I'll be hairbrushed.
In the first week, I was punished 3 times for breaking this rule, I think. And then we ran out.
Now, there's also no rule against buying it. There's only a consequence should I choose to drink it. And I can drink other soda - in fact, I do. But I love Mountain Dew. It's the nectar of the gods, I think. Others are fine and satisfy a physical craving, but they frequently remain half-drunk, get poured out, or survive longer in the refrigerator.
Still, one day last week (the second week), I craved the stuff. Craved it. And I was out running errands in places that would be ultimately easy for me to pick one up on the way through.
At the grocery store, I at least realized that I would not buy it in bulk and bring it home. No, the thing to do was to buy a single bottle in the refrigerated section.
Not for sale in single bottles.
At the drug store, my first stop was the long line of refrigerators that held every type of soda sold to mankind. But Mountain Dew?
Sold out.
I walked by three soda machines before I got back to the car. I drug the money out of my purse. The dollar bill thingamajig didn't work. It would only take coins.
I didn't have enough quarters.
I kicked the back tire on my car before I got back in. Whoever heard of a girl who tried to break a rule and couldn't?
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13 comments:
Oh, poor Sparkle! At least you tried! I still have never been able to knowingly break a rule.
I will say this though... breaking the caffiene habit does get easier. I quit more than three years ago. Recently I met a former professor of mine for coffee and decided to indulge in a mocha latte - an old favorite - just for the heck of it. The caffiene had me literally vibrating by the time I got home. Then came the crash. I was in bed fast asleep by 4:30pm.
I don't think I can ever go back to caffiene now.
I think your habit could be a lot worse, Sparkle-- what if you were a devotee of Big Red instead?
Indy
(who is not a native Hoosier and does not get Big Red)
Maybe he will spank you for TRYING to break the rule.....
Rose, I have hope. Not much, but a little.
And oh, oh, oh.... BIG RED? *shudders violently* Ew.
Barbie, thanks. Really. ;)
sparkle
I was crazy for Mountain Dew in high school, goodness, this brings back memories ...
I know, not the point.
I'm just as glad, for you, that you weren't able to break that rule!
{{hugs}}
Um - so the 20-oz size is out - was anything said specifically about the 32-ounce size?
Trying to be helpful for another Mtn Dew fanatic.
Hugs,
Raven
Or, if Raven's idea doesn't work, how about if you drink almost an entire 20 oz Mountain Dew and leave the barest little sip in there? That's not 20 oz, is it? ;-)
Anything I can do to help, m'dear.
Hugs,
Iris
Poor Sparkle... we don't have Mountain Dew here in the UK, so I don't really get the devotion to it, but I remember that when one of my US colleagues was on assignment here for 4 months, he used to go up to see his cousins on a US Army base, mostly just so he could go to the store there and stock up on the stuff!!
So sorry fate was against you, but think, on the bright side, no hairbrushing.
Yes I know it is hard to kick that caffeine/soda habit. I have recently been reduced to one soda a day .. which for me is like torture .. I used to be a 3 or 4 coke a day girl. I am still amazed that I make it most days without breaking that rule..
Sparkle, rules are made to break, my dear , and butts are made to quake.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
So, the actual rule is that there is a hairbrushing for any consumption of the nectar up to a 20 oz. bottle. IF I was so insane as to drink MORE than 20 oz., then it would be an ebony hairbrushing.
Indeed, I know this rule well. During the first week, when the stock in the refrigerator had been reduced to 2 cans of soda, I reassured Chris that he'd probably only have to punish me one more time before it became an incidental occurence. "But there are two cans," he pointed out.
"If I drink one, I'm drinking them both - that's still less than a bottle," I replied.
He frowned. But I wasn't signing up for TWO more hairbrushings.
Oh. Well, there is that.
While on one hand, I think that such a rule would probably make me crave the nectar (your description is perfect), when I'm honest with myself, since eliminating it during my pregnancy last year, I haven't enjoyed it nearly as much as I used to.
That's not to say it doesn't sneak back into my diet from time to time, of course.
Good luck...and I think you're incredibly blessed by your sweet Chris, even when he is wielding a mean hairbrush for infractions of silly Mountain Dew rules. :)
Hugs,
Raven
Raven, consider this a very passionate, unspoken blessing over your heart and soul. And a very firm hug.
Yes, I am very blessed.
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